How can I support them? ·
Ask them if they need support but don’t take a ‘no’ as a rejection. Try and leave it open, so help can be offered at later date. Find out from them what you can do for them. It might be that they don’t want anything from you right now but just wanted to tell you because they felt they were being dishonest by keeping it from you.
“If I don’t let people close to me know that, then I’m hiding part of myself from them.”
They may however want help with telling other family members and/or friends, or for you to provide a listening ear. It might just be they need some practical support such as giving them a lift to and from appointments or keeping them company when they wait.
You need to decide how much or little of this you can provide. As outlined in the section entitled How will it affect me, it can take a while to come to terms with someone’s disclosure and feel able to provide the support someone may be looking for.
You maybe just need to let them know when and if you are struggling with your own emotions and that you are happy to be there for them but that you need some time and space also. You may find that you can be mutually supportive of one another and that they will be able to provide the support you need too.
It is worth remembering that you don’t need to do this all on your own and that there are support agencies for both people living with HIV and also for friends, families and partners.
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