I already knew I was positive ·
If you are also positive and knew it already, it is likely that you will be able to be a source of support for your partner. However, the reaction you initially receive may not be a good one for a number of different reasons. You need to be prepared for this, but also that your partner could treat you like a bit of an encyclopedia on HIV and expect you to have all the answers.
Depending on how long it has been since your own diagnosis, you may or may not feel able to deal with this and you may need help in offering the level of support your partner may need or want.
If it was you who infected him, he may blame you if you’ve been having unsafe sex, even if you discussed the risks beforehand and he was prepared to take them. You may also blame yourself for not taking greater care or not persuading him to.
If you haven’t told your partner you have HIV and you’ve been having unsafe sex, this has potential legal implications; see HIV and the Law for more on this.
It is also important to remember that how you reacted at the time of your own diagnosis may not be the same as how your partner reacts. Similarly, how you are coping living with HIV may be different from how your partner will cope. You need to recognise that there will be differences and neither or you can or should try to force your experiences and feelings about HIV onto the other.
Having HIV may be something uniting but there will be times when it is difficult, for example if one partner becomes ill or if one person has to start medication whilst the other does not. Remember, you don’t have to do this on your own. There are services out there that can support both you and/or your partner.
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